Bedford, Beer, Burlesque, Bacon
Alcohol, Its evil
It has been a rather busy weekend to which a lesson has been well and truly learnt by me… alcohol is indeed evil.
Weekend started with a night out on Friday which was where the above lesson was learnt. This particular night was very busy on account of it being 4 people’s birthday, the gothy night at the bear and the rocky dj night at Esquires, so many many people were about. I like and dislike these kinda nights in equal measure, the problem always is that there are loads of people you know about which is great but you wanna have a good chat too all of them an not leave other folks out which is a real pain and you always end up seeming rude by darting off every few minutes.
On this night I drank far too much. As i’v grown older my tolerance for alcohol has reached quite a high level, i spent a good 70-80 quid and that was more or less all on drinks I drank. The problem with this kinda drunk is its brutal, like when you were a kid and a couple of ciders sent you to the moon, it was drunken but manageable and not that damaging. When it takes you about 12+ pints + whatever else then that much shit going into ye body although giving the same drunken effect is defo doing some bad stuff.
I don’t know how proper alcoholics sustain them selves, like those poor bastards that sit on benches drinking tennants all day everyday. I have one heavy night out and i’m fuckin ruined for the next couple of days. I don’t touch alcohol in the week, and i’m glad at the core of it i’m a fairly sensible chap but these binge nights… mid-twenties I think i’v earned my stripes and it may be time for focusing more on healthier pursuits.
Burlesque Night
Saturday night was the Bedford Burlesque night at the Civic Theatre. The whole thing was put together by a friend of mine and what an amazing job she did! It is a very rare and special thing when someone takes an idea and actually does something with it from concept to end result. There is so much chitter chatter ‘wouldn’t this be cool’ ‘i’d love to do that’ going around in the world today and no graft, desire or determination to follow any of it though. Emily broke this trend and with buckets of hard work laid on a fantastic night for about 200 people and is due lots of respect and admiration for managing it.
It was a great night out even though I was very broken from the night before! I did have to leave at the end secretly and skip the after show fun as I think I may of passed out (defo no more binge drinking for me). Like the night before there were many many people to talk to and everyone was dressed up! It was slightly surreal in a way as you’re used to seeing folks in normal clothes and in certain pubs and suddenly you’re in a theatre hall and everyone you know is all stood there looking all smart.
There was such a good atmosphere going about and from walking around everyone kept saying how much of a great time they were having. The acts were great and I think I ended up ‘getting’ Burlesque dancing which my only real conceptual idea of it before going to the show was ‘birds in retro clothes getting their kit off’ which really was quite a wrong and blunt notion as there is a lot more too it than that.
All in all it was a great time and i’ll be along for the next one, I think i’ll get more in the spirit with my attire then.
Bacon, Its not evil
Last little thing I wanna say is that Bacon is great. I don’t know if i’m just the messiah of bacon sandwiches or what but I make a fuckin good one! Bacon has saved me from many a hangover and with the added accompyment of a strong cup of coffee is just awesome. I feel sorry for the Jewish and Islamic folks out there who’ll never get a chance to tuck into such a nice meal but hey… all the more piggey for the rest of us.
A Priest and a Rabbi were, by coincidence, sitting next to each other on a long flight.
About an hour passes and not a single word was exchanged by the two men. Finally, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and says, “Rabbi, do you mind if I ask you a personal question”? The Rabbi said, “Of course, you may.”
“I understand that many of you Jewish people, especially Rabbis, keep kosher and, as such, don’t eat things like bacon or ham”. The Rabbi acknowledged that. “Haven’t you ever even tasted bacon or ham?”, asked the Priest.
The Rabbi explained, “Many years ago, I was a visiting Rabbi in a small town in the middle of nowhere and found myself in a diner one Sunday morning. There was no one around so I ordered bacon and eggs. It was quite good but that was the only time that ever happened.”
After some time, the Rabbi turned to the Priest and said, “Father, do you mind if you ask you a very personal question”? The Priest said OK.
“You Priests take an oath of celibacy, right”?, asked the Rabbi. “Why, yes”, answered the Priest, wondering where this was going.
“Well, haven’t you ever had sex since you’ve become as Priest”?, asked the Rabbi. The Priest looked about nervous, leaned toward the rabbi and answered very softly, “As a young parishioner I was approached by a troubled woman who was looking for my guidance. She was a beautiful, young woman and one thing led to another. So, yes, just once I had sex with a woman”.
A few moments pass and the Rabbi leans over to the Priest and says, “A lot better than pork, isn’t it?”