Sep 08

Just a quick (edit: turned into a fucking essay) post, I may be doing a few top ten posts now and again to keep the blog fresh while I bother to write other stuff.

bad⋅ass

–adjective Also, badassed.

1. (of a person) difficult to deal with; mean-tempered; touchy.
2. distinctively tough or powerful; so exceptional as to be intimidating.

–noun

3. a mean-tempered troublemaker.

Here is a list of my top ten movie and tv badasses. These are people that you really would never want to fuck with if they were real. You probably have your own and there are likely loads i’v missed of my own, however these at this moment in time are the most memorable for me. They are people that ‘kinda’ could exist, not science fictional types etc…

In no particular order:


1. Furio Giunta

Name: Furio Giunta
From: The Sopranos (tv)
Why: Just look at his name ffs! Furrrrrrrrrrrrrio. Furio is an Italian mafia thug brought over from Italy by Tony Soprano in the popular HBO show. He really is a stone cold badass, he’ll carry out orders to the extreme. In one episode it just ends with a knock at some guy’s door and it opens with Furio just stood there, then the episode ends! There is no need to see him cripple this poor helpless fellow, you just know it what is gonna happen.

Furio has a different side though, he often has heart warming olde Italian stories about where he grew up and is very kind and taken to Tony’s wife. So much so they end up having a mini affair which ends up with Furio legging it (he ain’t THAT badass) and thus leaving the show.

One of Furio’s most brutal scenes.


2. Simon Adebisi

Name: Simon Adebisi
From: Oz (tv)
Why: Oz is one of my fav shows of all time. It used to be on Ch4 late at night years ago and my mate John and me used to always chat about it at school. For those not in the know check out the link above. Being a prison drama there are a fair few badasses in Oz and to be honest shows like this and the Sopranos could have their own top ten badasses picked solely from their cast. Not wanting to list characters from multiple shows I picked my fav of the Oz badass bunch and that my friends is Mr Simon Adebisi.

Simon is in Oz for beheading a cop with a machete, lets face it you could stop there and you’d get the idea but I shall continue. Adebisi is probably the most violent and unpredictable inmate in Oz, everything about him is badass from his unusual dress sense to his strong and deep Nigerian accent. His drug addiction further adds to his unpredictable but calculating nature. He truly is not someone you wanna be ever sharing a cell with. Please note the video below is not for the faint of heart.

Dodgy music on this vid, but shows one of Simon’s sickest highlights, 1:40, evil.


3. Nicholas “Nicky” Santoro

Name: Nicholas “Nicky” Santoro
From: Casino (film)
Why: Just like the better known film Goodfellas, Joe Pesci plays a violent mobster who you really don’t want to mess about with. In both films his character is similar in his attitude and viciousness but for pure badass factor the character of Nicky in Casino (who is incidentally based on a real person!) stands out more as someone who really just does not give a shit. He is the long time friend but ultimate thorn in the side of the mobbed up but all round likable character of Sam “Ace” Rothstein played by Robert De Niro. When ace is asked by the mob to run a casino in Vegas Nicky soon moves up and attempts to milk Vegas in the traditional mob way e.g. fear, intimidation, robbing etc etc… In the end Nicky gets a bit to big for his boots but I wont spoil the film.

Yep, You knew what scene it’d be.


4. Jules Winnfield

Name: Jules Winnfield
From: Pulp Fiction (film)
Why: I’m not sure I really need to talk about this guy to much, I think most people have seen Pulp Fiction but if you haven’t then you probably hate Tarantino so meh. Jules is played by Samuel L. Jackson and is one of the definitive moments of his badass persona. Jules is the coolest badass in my opinion of the many badass roles Mr Jackson has played. Ordell in Jackie Brown springs to mind as the character in my opinion of almost an equal badass score with Jules.

Jules is an enforcer for the gangster Marsellus Wallace and is mostly seen with his partner in badassness Vincent Vega played by John Travolta. The video below is the most well known from the film and all that needs to be done to illustrate this most awesome of badasses.

Yea I know, cliche.


5. Bullet Tooth Tony

Name: Bullet Tooth Tony
From: Snatch (film)
Why: This is more of a homage to every hard man Vinnie Jones plays in films. Vinnie Jones just has one of those faces that you just have to look at and think… hard-case. He has those kinda eyes that if they were right up in ye grill you’d be forgiven for leaking a little piss. The other notable role Jones plays as a badass is in Lock Stock another Guy Richie film. He’s pretty typecast in this role as a rough talking east end nutcase but in Snatch I think is where he shines the most, if only for the scene in the video below:

Never not smiled or laughed at the end of this scene.


6. Gene Hunt

Name: Gene Hunt
From: Life on Mars(tv), Ashes to Ashes (tv)
Why: Gene Hunt is a police man in the two popular uk tv shows above, without a doubt he is one of the best characters I have seen on uk tv in a long time. He is un pc sexist homophobic bigot but in a comical way due to his iconic one liners and moral core. He’s an all round good police bloke but he’ll twist a few rules and arms to get the job done. He’s not the most violent on the list but there is just something about Gene that screams badass, an x factor of badasstry if you will. If you have never watched Life on Mars or Ashes to Ashes check them out, he’ll leave you in stitches with some of the stuff he comes out with.

Few clips of Gene in action


7. Omar Little

Name: Omar Little
From: The Wire (tv)
Why: This is a new character I have discovered of late. For some reason since it first aired in 2002 I have never watched The Wire until a few weeks ago and I must say I am hooked. It seems to be one of the lesser know HBO shows in the UK and in my humble opinion should be checked out by anyone who loves gritty crime dramas.

In the show Omar is a gay! street wise stickup man who robs drug dealers and takes care of folks, he’s got quite a strict code of conduct in this regard and seldom swears. On the face of it he does not sound like much of a badass but believe me he is up there with the best of them. From the tune he whistles as he approaches a scene with his trench coat and signature shotgun you just know this character is something special.

I have not finished watching the all the seasons of The Wire but from all I have seen Omar steals the show with his wit, calculated violence and charm. All he need say is his catch phrase of ‘Indeed’ and the badass scale rockets.

‘Omar Lisin’ hah badass


8. Tommy Hatcher

Name: Tommy Hatcher
From: Green Street (film)
Why: A lesser known film and an even lesser known actor Geoff Bell. This is a film about football hooligans in the UK and is somewhat of a little hidden gem. It is very very brutal and believe it or not the staring roles is Elijah Wood aka Frodo muthafukin Baggins as an American student who gets involved in the hooligan life style, yes I shit you not pretty boy Elijah Wood fist fighting!

I digress. Bell plays Tommy Hatcher (another badass name) who is the older leader of a rival gang of hooligans and a very nasty piece of work. Geoff Bell brings a rare kind of intimidation and fear to the table and its a shame he is not in many other films, I couldn’t even find a picture of him on Google of him in the film! I had to end up using a random one where he really does not look as hard as he does on screen. Another lesser known but awesome film he is in is a film called The Business where he plays a similar cockney hardcase.

Not as brutal as some of the vids above but really leaves me feeling uneasy.


9. Yvonne Atkins

Name: Yvonne Atkins
From: Bad Girls (tv)
Why: Ok so I didn’t want to be sexist and not include a lady in the list. Women can be badass too right? well unless they are in science fiction or dodgy action films it is actually quite hard to find one that is a badass in a believable setting, Yvonne Atkins is one of these people. Bad Girls was a uk TV women’s prison drama that i’ll admit I liked, even if a lot of it ended up being eastenders in prison it was still pretty gritty and am all round good show in my opinion.

Yvonne Atkins was the wife of a London gangster banged up in Larkwood prison for reasons I forget. From the get go she just has the presence of a complete badass, you don’t cross her or you are gotta get a beat down make no mistake. Like Vinnie Jones she has those eyes that cut right through you. One of her main rivals was a woman called Shell Dockely who wasn’t so much of a badass as evil, needless to say Yvonne dealt with her and was something of a hero in Larkwood.

heh how old does the actor look on eastenders now!


10. Michael Corleone

Name: Michael Corleone
From: The Godfather Part 2
Why: Yes Michael Corleone played by Al Pachino not his Father Vito played by Marlon Brando. If you have not watched the first two Godfather films then you’ve not watched two of the best films ever made and I could go on about them but this is about badasses and this entire post has taken fucking ages to write. Most of my badasses above are rather hands on no holes barred nutters which personally I enjoy watching, Michael Corleone however is different.

The story of Michael in the films is nothing short of epic, he starts of as a positive wide eyed war hero and ends up surpassing his Mafia boss father in his level of badassness. Yes that’s right i’m sorry but as a badass Michael is twice his father Vito. Its the cold calculating borderline evil approach that Michael has to his business and family life that just make him stand out as probably the baddest badass of all time. Would he win in a fist fight with ‘any’ of the above? probably not, after his beating however would their entire family be decapitated in their sleep afterwards with them left alive to see it before they were shot in the face? most def.

no video, you cant appreciate this character without watching the entire trilogy


Finally!

Shit me this was a lot of effort and poorly written as hell! Have I missed loads of badassess out? yep loads but as I said these are some of the main ones that come to mind. I have tried to stick to my personal tastes and shows/films you might not of watched or paid much attention to, I could of just listed out the likes of Tony Montanna, Hannibal Lecter, Dirty Harry all those cliches but how boring would that be. I can guarantee there is a character in the above that you probably haven’t heard of or paid much attention too. If there isn’t and you are female and not wolf ugly you may marry me if you wish.

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Jun 04

So we went to see the new Terminator film with Christian Bale as John Connor on it’s opening night last night. Now we all know Christian Bale is an alcoholic mental swine listen to this when he was filming said film if you don’t believe me, seemingly he was ‘in character’ but we all know hes mad. Anyhoo enough of all that, as long as he blows shit up and stuff who cares right?

I wont go into the plot of the film too much as I have (like many people) a knack of throwing out spoilers, normally unintentionally but sometimes not, usually depending on if i like you or if i’v had much to drink; or a combination of the two. The basic premise is that it is a follow on from the last installment of the franchise set in about 2018  where the now older John Conner is involved in a war against Skynet and all those nasty looking terminator dudes.

The first thing that struck me about this film was the attention to detail and all round awesome way they managed to depict a post apocalyptic future. Imagine the mad max films but more down to earth with a huge budget and you’ll be getting just how good the setting is. There is this constant grey like tint in all the outside scenes which adds to the atmosphere no end without making it too dark. I imagine this might be some kind of digital filter post production but it really sets the scene. Added to the fantastic props and urban somewhat punky like costumes (done well not cheesey) this really is one of the best post apocalyptic settings I have seen done. To those who have played and marvelled at the computer game Fallout 3, just imagine that but in real life. So good was the setting that you kinda get lost in it and don’t notice some of the cheesy dialogue and one liners that is the staple part of any action film for the first hour or so.

I say the first hour or so because trust me on this, the last half of the film does indeed chuck large lumps of cheddar at you from afar in relation to references to the previous installments, some chronic cgi moments and an all round vomit inducing (from all the cheese) ending which tries to pull at your heart strings ( ;) ) but fails, to be honest I laughed and cringed at the same time.

The problem stems like it does in a lot of sequels as far down the line as this is that they start off slow and set the scene, in fact for the first hour you could of never watched any of the previous films and could just get lost in the atmosphere and the action. However they then need to slot their selves into the previous story lines from the previous films before the time is up and to satisfy that need to fit into a chain of events. There is this one part towards the end and you’ll know exactly the bit i’m talking about when you go see it that could of just been left out to save on cheese as whatever ‘expectation’ there was to do it for fans, it just came across as silly. That is not to say the plot does not flow, all parts tie in and you are not left with the ‘wtf’ factor at the end plus they have left the story open for further installments (no surprise there). Half of me thinks they could of taken the back story of the character Sam Worthington plays and done something alot more with it and made the film about that instead of jamming the plot into a box to fit the back story of all the other films. 

It is well worth a watch and is eye candy personified, at its core its a war film and with the settling manages this well. Does it live up to terminator 2? no fucking way I doubt you could, there just isn’t the same heart to it as that film however much money they’v obviously chucked into it.

Mr Bale gets out done and out acted to buggery by Sam Worthington in much the same way Heath Ledger did in the Dark Knight. Its a 12A so don’t expect much in the way of tits, swearing and all out gore, this like many 12A’s means extra explosions, gun fire and dodgy hand to hand combat to offset this (i guess these things don’t warp kids mind’s as much as a nice pair of boobies, go figure).

7/10

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